Epistle 01 - An Open Epistle to the Most High

Always Give Thanks

To the Most High,

There are so many names for You, but I run with God.

You are the higher power, the source of all things.

I must begin with gratitude.

It is most imperative to show thanks.

I am thankful for life, for breath, for the opportunity to rise again each day,

for the simple chance to keep trying, even when we fall.

I give thanks for my family,

for the love that steadies me,

for my children who continue to teach me patience, purpose, and perseverance.

They are my greatest gift, my living reminder of Your presence.

They are proof that love remains even through uncertainty.

I give thanks for the ability to create,

for the words You allow to move through me,

for this gift of expression that lets me share, uplift, and inspire.

Each word I write is a reflection of Your mercy,

each idea a fragment of the purpose You planted within me.

I give thanks for my experiences,

both the joy-filled moments and the ones that almost broke me.

Each experience, whether victory or loss, continues to shape the man I am becoming.

I am always becoming more.

And so I thank You for it all:

the bliss within the struggle,

the resilience it gives me,

and the grace that keeps me walking forward.

The Humility of the Successful

I have noticed something about those who are rising, those who are still climbing from where they once were.

Most of them, in their own way, put You first.

Different names, different faiths, different ways of saying it, but they all give credit where it is due.

They are always bigging You up and giving You thanks.

In serious moments, they speak with gratitude before they speak of achieving goals, as if they know that without Your breath, nothing breathes,

and without Your will, nothing works.

And then there are those who feel overlooked. Unseen, unheard, undervalued.

I have been one of them too.

It is easy to question faith when life feels unfair, when effort and outcome do not match up.

But belief is not about control; it is about trust,

about knowing that You have got us even when we do not understand how.

And even among the have-nots, most still worship with full hearts.

They lift their voices through struggle,

they thank You in scarcity,

they love You through loss.

They remind me that gratitude is not measured by gain, it is proven through endurance.

Even in our highest and lowest moments, we return to the same truth:

Everything begins and ends with You.

Distance and Return

There was a time I turned my back on You.

I never stopped believing, but I chose not to communicate.

I stopped worshipping, stopped thanking, and stopped asking for help.

I acted like an atheist, though deep down I knew better.

I know You are omnipresent.

I knew You could see everything I was doing, yet still, I lived like You weren't watching.

But I was angry.

I was heartbroken.

I was losing one of only two people who truly loved me unconditionally.

And I blamed You, because You are the Almighty.

You had the power to save her, and I could not understand why You would let my mother suffer.

For three and a half years, her body was riddled with cancer.

I watched her world shrink until her life was limited to a bed.

When she died, I wanted to get closer to You. I needed You.

But I could not face You.

Still, deep down, You were always with me.

I did not know it then, but that detachment was part of my healing and growth.

The pain I felt watching my mum die created distance between us, and that distance led to decisions I would not have made had I stayed connected.

I should have been thanking You for what remained,

for life, for my family, for the time You allowed us together.

They had only given her six months,

but by Your mercy and grace, we had almost four years.

Even in her pain, she still smiled.

Her pain was not in vain, because her existence was the blessing.

When she transitioned to the higher life, I thought freedom would bring clarity,

but it brought numbness instead.

Looking after my mum had become my purpose, and all of a sudden, I was left adrift.

I went searching for meaning, and on that quest, I did things I am not proud of.

I tried to live, but without her, and without You, nothing truly flowed.

I fell further from where I wanted to be until I realised, maybe the fall was part of the lesson.

Looking back now, I can see I was still being carried.

Even in silence, I was speaking to You through my work.

Every word I wrote was a whisper of belief I did not know I still had.

You gave me Always Winning; a message that would later help me heal.

Maybe that was always part of Your plan,

letting me express through my pen what my mouth could no longer say.

I delved deeper into the darkness, and it damn near destroyed me.

But maybe that was what it took to truly understand connection.

It is not something we start or stop.

It is a constant pulse between man and Maker, always leading us back to You.

Where I Stand Now

Today, I feel connected again.

Not in the way I once was, this time more aware, more intentional.

I still have hope that my dreams are part of the bigger plan, but I no longer try to control what unfolds.

I simply try to stay aligned.

I see You in small moments now.

In the laughter of my children, in the stillness before and the feeling I get while I write,

in those reminders that appear when I am close to giving up.

You are everywhere, not waiting to be found.

Not even waiting to be acknowledged.

You are just there.

I see You in the chaos and the wrongdoing too,

showing me signs, gently trying to lead me back to You.

I still fall short sometimes.

I do not pray as often as I should,

but I speak to You through my actions, my words, and my work.

Omnism and Understanding

Though I call You God, I know You have many names. Too many to name.

Different tongues, different teachings, but the Source is the same.

Some find You through silence, others through science.

I stopped trying to uncover the truth of the universe.

It is not my calling to unravel how the Most High works.

The important thing is knowing what lies at the core of life and of our existence here on Earth.

Maybe that is why I am an Ominist now.

Maybe that is what Omnism really is,

the understanding that no single book can contain You, and no one belief can define You.

Every path that teaches love, compassion, and truth is a reflection of Your presence.

When I was younger, I questioned why religions seemed divided,

why the world fought over who was right about You.

But now I see that You speak in many languages,

and those who listen with their hearts always hear the same message:

be kind to each other and love one another.

I have learned to respect every seeker who questions,

for anyone searching for the light is already walking in it.

Faith is not confined to rules, walls, temples, or titles.

It is the light that connects us all.

Belief, Doubt, and Forgiveness

I have learned that belief is not constant.

Faith rises and fades, just like everything in life.

We believe, we doubt, we question, we break,

and then we believe again.

Some lose belief because of pain.

Some because disappointment reshaped their trust.

Some seek knowledge and become distracted, thinking understanding alone is enough. But wisdom without humility leads us away from Source.

Some stop believing because silent meditation feels louder than prayer.

When the mind will not quiet, prayer can feel too far to reach.

But doubt is not the absence of faith.

Doubt is the doorway back to it.

I have learned that forgiveness is part of belief too.

Not just forgiving others, but forgiving myself.

We do not move to the next chapter of our lives

until we learn what the present one came to teach us.

We stay stuck in the same season, repeating the same lessons,

until we understand, accept, and release.

I am trying to forgive myself so that I can free myself.

And once I am free, I know I can fully return to You.

True forgiveness will be my graduation.

That is when I will rise again.

I Am the Vessel

I am not the author of purpose.

Only the carrier of it.

If You choose to speak through me, I will speak.

If You choose to move through me, I will move.

If You choose to work through me, I will work.

I am Your instrument, waiting to be played.

Keep me aligned.

Keep me open.

Keep me listening,

not just with my ears,

but with my heart, my spirit,

and every sense You have given me.

Walk with me as I walk with You.

Guide me as I try to guide others.

Shape me as I continue to become more.

Yours always and forever,

Chris